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Glossary

I am super tired today, so rather than a new essay I’m going to be sharing with you the work I’ve done so far on a project for this site. This is the start of a glossary of gaming terms for a new and more enlightened age. Any time you stumble across a piece of gaming jargon you’re not familiar with, you will be able to refer back to here to be edified. Even if you think you’re familiar with all of these terms, I’d recommend checking this out just to be sure you have it right.

These are the first 30 words of The Devil’s Gaming Glossary. More will be forthcoming in future updates.

               

Adventure: A genre of game wherein clicking on game characters results in a lengthy dialogue sequence rather than the abrupt demise of the character in question.

Balance: When done well, the reason why you’re winning. When done poorly, the reason why you’re losing.

Camper: A player who, against all rules of sportsmanship and good taste, refuses to let himself be shot

Casual Player: A player who spends questionable amounts of time playing suspiciously colorful games

Cheese: A derogatory term for any effective tactic

Classic: A game once enjoyed before developing any standards of quality

Competitive: A game type which replaces the AI with an unreliable substitute

DRM: A method of ensuring people don’t play a game; the opposite of advertising

F2P: A marketing model wherein a player may either spend more time playing the game they are willing to pay less for or less time playing the game they’re willing to pay more for

Game: Hobby, with added potential for failure

Genre: A broad category of game, chiefly describing similarities in box art and cinematics

Griefer: A player adept at finding entertainment in even the dullest of multi-player games

Grinding: A deprecated game mechanic, forcing the player to spend a great deal of time playing the game rather than enjoying the accompanying cinematics.

Gun: The primary method of interacting with a game’s world

Hacker: An exceptionally skilled player, not of ones accquaintance, in a competitive setting

Hardcore: Adjective used to describe a game simplified to be more accessible to an audience with special needs; the audience thus targeted

Immersive: Describes a game with mechanics so unoriginal the player grasps them intuitively and a world so unremarkable that the player has no difficulty believing it real

Innovative: Commercial failure

MMO: A single-player or small-scale cooperative game with other players available to talk to, thankfully spread across a large enough area that one can avoid interacting with them in any way possible

Mod: A project undertaken due to enthusiasm for a game predicated entirely upon the ways in which it is unsatisfactory

Noob: Any player not of ones accquaintance in a competitive setting

NPC: A speaking signpost that can be murdered

Realistic: Poorly balanced

Retro: A game made with a budget of less than a million dollars

Roguelike: A game that hates the player and just wants to be left alone

RPG: A genre wherein the player issues edicts to a band of 1-5 sociopaths as they practice meticulously robbing and murdering every living creature they encounter

Spam: The shot which killed you

Story: Series of cinematics used to recontextualize cold-blooded murder as heroism

Turtling: The tactic, in competitive games, of hoping one’s opponent will realize how boring the game has become before oneself does

Violence: A popular alternative to writing dialogue

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