Monthly Archives: August 2017

It’s been a bit of a weird month. I haven’t worked deeply on much, but made a lot of slight progress on different things, and have also made some substantial revisions to the game design.

Well, first things first, I made this piece of background art:

I like how this one turned out, but I also need to make an alternate version of it for a special effect I have planned and that one is proving to be a bit difficult. A lot of these background images are almost technical problems, where I need to figure out a way to depict the idea I have in my head without getting bogged down for hours and hours, and also to depict an area that makes some sense relative to the actual navigable portion of terrain the game takes place in. This background already has taken far more time than any of the others, and the potential for an even more detailed and time-consuming version has me a bit concerned, so I’m trying to figure out a clever way to approach it..

With these concerns in mind, I decided to drop the background work for a bit and work on some animations. I began creating animations for one of the other early-game enemies, the Crawler:

This is one of very few enemies in the game what does damage on contact rather than having to do a particular attack, and is more or less completely unaggressive and minds its own business – an obstacle as much as an enemy, really. The animations aren’t quite complete yet, with the turn animation in particular being a bit of a troublesome obstacle, but it’s coming along. Once this and the mask enemy are complete, there’s only one more enemy type planned for the first couple areas of the game, so I’ll have pretty much everything I need in place to finish building out the early areas. I also spent some time building out some of the animations I’ll need for the other variations on the mask enemy, such as the stone throwing and spear throwing types, but nothing finished as of yet.

There were some other minor side-lines – a system for making it possible to modify a value from multiple locations without overwriting each other’s modifications, building a special ‘alternate reality’ effect for the second area, roughing out some of the level designs… near the end of the month, though, I realized, or perhaps merely acknowledged, a number of substantial design flaws that were threatening to undermine the game. These had to do with the upgrades I had planned, when you were likely to find them in the game, and how useful and interesting they would be. The biggest problem that emerged was that I had come up with the idea of this attack using the sling and, when I thought about how it would feel in action, I realized it was completely unsatisfactory. Essentially I was planning this whole ability which didn’t really have any role in what the player was doing – it would be the only ranged attack available, sure, but in a game where ranged attacks weren’t really necessary to succeed, and it would totally clutter up the control system.

I spent a few days thinking about this, and eventually came up with a whole new system, with a set of 4 elemental attacks and alternate forms of each attack, along with a system of special attack ‘charges’ that get restored whenever the player gets hit. I think this is a pretty good idea! But it also presents a lot of issues with, again, when the player finds upgrades and what role those upgrades play in the overall flow of the game. I’m still not 100% there with this design, but the missing pieces will probably be small things that I can fit into place as I go rather than massive gaping holes that I need to invent whole new game systems to fill.

Since then, I’ve just been reworking the way attacks are programmed to make room for this system. The new attack system is far more flexible than before, though there are probably still some ways I could improve it that I may have to consider.

This month will probably have more work on creating enemy animations, a little bit more design work figuring out what the flow of upgrades and specific properties of special attacks will be (along with whether I want to have, say, special objects that the player can interact with using said special attacks), and perhaps laying the groundwork for creating the special attacks themselves – though they are mostly a low priority for a moment, since most of them are planned to be found later in the game than the first chapter, which is where I am currently focusing my development effort. If I don’t feel like that stuff then creating assets and level details for the first couple areas, finishing the mentioned background image, or building improving tilesets are also strong possibilities for productive work to do next.


A little while ago I was participating in a conversation about the nature of causality and whether the information we have supports the idea of a deterministic universe, and I found myself getting perhaps uncharacteristically defensive. If you aren’t familiar with the idea of determinism, it suggests that every situation can have only one outcome, and this outcome has been causally determined, since the beginning of time, by the initial starting position of the universe. This concept simply extends the idea of cause and effect outwards to the beginnings and end of time: Every cause has effects and every effect has causes and, though we personally experience the effects after the cause, that may just be the experience of a mind that lives moving forwards in time.

This is accurate to the reality simulated by classical mechanics, since everything has to sum up properly at the end, but it’s a bit of an open question whether this idea can still hold true with quantum mechanics. I believe that we will eventually find that it does, but that’s an article of faith on my behalf more than anything else – and I find that interesting, because there’s not a lot I take on faith, so… why should this be an exception?

After I had a chance to cool down and think a while, I started to wonder about why I was feeling defensive and irritable. I could now, perhaps, talk about how what I feel to be the internal consistency and obviousness of my logic has made me arrogant and unwilling to entertain new ideas – or how, as we get older, we build up conceptual structures of ideas, and begin to become increasingly uncomfortable with any rearrangement of the ideas near the bottom of the structure lest they upset the entire mental order of our universe – or about how, as a broke-as-fuck artist, I get so little external reassurance that I often feel compelled to display extreme and unearned confidence to hold what shaky financial and emotional ground I can still stand on.

Well: Those are all topics that occurred to me, and perhaps they’ll come up later, in future essays. However, what I also realized is that I became defensive at that time because the idea of determinism has actually quietly, over the course of my life, become incredibly important to me, in a way that is fundamental to my understanding of the world and, perhaps, even spiritual.

When determinism is presented in the context of religion and spirituality it’s almost always, in my experience, as something which undermines the core tenets upon which those are built: That is to say, it raises questions of how we can have free will if our choices are already determined, and what possible role can the divine have in a universe that is essentially mechanical? I don’t find these questions compelling, personally, but these are usually the ones that come up within the context of how people feel, spiritually, about the idea of determinism. However, I’ve always seen the idea differently – not as cold and pragmatic and disparate from the spiritual reality of human existence, but as a profoundly hopeful and meaningful idea about what forms of immortality we can realistically hope for.

There’s a split I’ve noticed, perhaps a generational divide, a difference of perspective between the ‘millennial’ generation and older generations. It’s commonly accepted and understood, now, that information persists on the internet; anything that you say or do only persists indefinitely, and can always be assumed to be archived somewhere, somehow, perhaps not forever but for close enough to forever. I don’t think, though, that for those of us who grew up with the internet that this understanding ends there: I think there’s just a generalized feeling that everything that happens is recorded in one way or another, leaves some permanent trace behind that could be unearthed at any moment. And, sure, maybe to some degree everyone knew that every every action left traces behind before, but now we have a split between those who assume that records of every event stay behind, and those who assume that they don’t unless they are specifically and intentionally created. I don’t want to overgeneralize, of course, but it often feels that boomers are as uncomfortable with the idea of a world where everything is recorded as millennials are with a world where most things are forgotten and lost forever.

I perceive this assumption in myself, that everything sticks around in some way, and I see the way I take comfort in it; that the things we did and the people we are won’t be lost to time, but just archived in some way. To me determinism cradles that concept intimately: Our lives aren’t just something that happens and then goes away, our lives are part of the great chain of causality. Our butterfly effects will continue on long after we disappear, no matter how inconsequential we may have seemed in the moment, and even if we don’t cause a hurricane, or even if we do but our hurricane is just a dust storm on a dead planet, we’re still part of it. The timeline will always exist and we will always be in it. However, if the universe is not deterministic, there’s no timeline – there’s a time spray, and nothing that happens leaves a reliable echo. There’s no way an omniscient observer can play back the film and see the lives that were lived – and, even if I have no belief in or even an interest in believing in an omniscient observer, the idea that if there was one there would be something there for them to observe gives me comfort.

I can’t just believe things because I like the way they feel, though. Maybe some effects happen without cause: I don’t think so, but I can’t know otherwise. Maybe the past is lost irrevocably, and the recordings and memories we take are really all that’s left of what once was. I don’t know. But, in the absence of knowledge, I will keep on believing, as I have, that every effect comes from causes and every cause from effects.

Even if it’s just a leap of faith, it’s carried me this far.